Ten of the worst anime: part II

Ten of the worst anime I have ever had the displeasure of watching, part two.

5. Gintama

© Hideaki Sorachi /
Shueisha, TV-Tokyo,
Dentsu, Sunrise

Sakata Gintoki is a samurai living in an era when samurais are no longer needed. To add to his troubles, oppressive aliens have moved in to invade. Gintoki lives with Kagura and Shinpachi, taking on odd jobs to make the world a better place … and to pay their rent.

Tacky animation that’s on par with the numero uno on this list of terrible anime. I hated every single minute of this anime. Five.

4. Naruto

© 2002 MASASHI KISHIMOTO

Naruto closely follows the life of a boy who is feared and detested by the villagers of the hidden leaf village of Konoha. The distrust of the boy has little to do with the boy himself, but it’s what’s inside him that causes anxiety. Long before Naruto came to be, a Kyuubi (demon fox) with great fury and power waged war taking many lives. The battle ensued for a long time until a man known as the Fourth Hokage, the strongest ninja in Konoha, sealed the evil demon in a human body, that of Naruto. As Naruto grows he decides to become the strongest ninja in Konoha in an effort to show everyone that he is worthy.

This show is a waste of time. A serious waste of time. It suffers from Dragon Ball syndrome: an inability to get to the fucking point. Animation gets repeated, scenes are dragged out for as long as possible. The main character is also an imbecile, frustrating in his one-trick-pony skill and the amazing ability to learn from his mistakes very, very slowly.

3. Pokémon

A young boy named Ash Ketchum embarks on a journey to become a “Pokémon Master” with his first Pokémon, Pikachu. Joining him on his travels are Brock, a girl-obsessed Rock Pokémon Trainer, and Misty, a tomboyish Water Pokémon Trainer who may have a crush on him. Ash and company end up travelling through various regions, including Kanto, the Orange Islands, and Johto, and then enter the Pokémon League competitions there. Along the way, they run into many confrontations with Jessie, James, and Meowth, a trio of Pokémon thieves who are part of an evil organisation called “Team Rocket”. But every time Team Rocket try to do their evil deeds, they fail thanks to Ash and his Pokémon.

276 episodes in Pokémon, with sequels and movies. The same thing happens in every episode. Ash finds a pokémon, he defeats Team Rocket, they blast off again, then come back. Ash finds another pokémon. How many times can you repeat the exact same plot before someone catches on?

2. Blassreiter

© 2008 GONZO,
Nitroplus /
Blassreiter Project

Faced with an outbreak of demonic blood, which transforms humans into insane and hideous creatures bent on violence and death, only one man can stand against the tide of destruction. Joseph Jobson, the only man able to control his cursed demonic form, must hunt down the man who cursed him and save the world from apocalypse.

I was completely hooked by the blurb. Demonic blood. Violence and death. Apocalypse. Unfortunately, they do omit 80% of the actual plot, the 80% that is 100% filled with shit:

  • It’s pretty much all about motorcycle riding;
  • The ‘transformation’ they speak of is actually a weird melding to machinery, like organic-mechanic mutation. Infected humans meld onto cars and motorcycles in silly races around town and up buildings;
  • They randomly introduce a man on a horse. He is also barefoot; and
  • There’s more cheap computer-generated imaging, than animation.

Had enough yet? I thought so too. I’m not sure how I sat through all 24 episodes, but I felt really depressed that I would never get that time back.

1. Excel Saga

© 1999 Koshi Rikdo /
Shonen Gahosha,
Victor Entertainment

Hyperactive Excel does anything and everything to try to please her lord, Ilpalazzo, who wants to take over the planet. Excel’s misadventures takes her and her partner, the ever-dying Hyatt, all over the world, meeting several strange people as they go. Everything is bizarre and goofy, as any kind of anime or entertainment genre gets mocked and spoofed.

I know it’s a parody anime. That still doesn’t excuse it for an ugly animation style. It doesn’t excuse it for not being entertaining. In fact, it doesn’t excuse it for anything. Words can’t describe how painful this show was to get through. Like Blassreiter, I would never get that time back; but rather than being depressed, I was angry and outraged. How dare they create such drivel? How dare they impose this garbage on humankind? Die and rot in a gutter, number one.

That’s it, thanks for playing! Hope you enjoyed the ten worst anime I’ve ever had the displeasure of watching.

Note: This by no means is the list of my all-time worst anime. I refuse to watch anime like Gundam, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Digimon, and many more. This means that while yes, I would like to give them a prize for being terrible anime, it would not be right without at least watching a little first. Which I don’t want to do.

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One response to Ten of the worst anime: part II

  1. bad anime says:

    Occasionally, this site I mentioned pops up some bad amateur anime. To be fair, it is amateur, so you can't really bash it- and there are some good ones, too.

    Thanks for your review. I don't know whether or not to avoid these or watch them out of morbid curiosity.

    -Joe

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