Ten of the worst anime: part I

Ten of the worst anime I have ever had the displeasure of watching, part one.

10. Kiddy Grade

© gimik, GONZO, GOTT

After fighting in numerous interstellar wars, mankind forms the Galactic Union to bring stability and to prevent conflicts between different planets. However, disputes between members of the union itself persists. In the Star Century year 0165, the Galactic Organization of Trade and Tariffs (GOTT) was formed. This organization utilizes the superpowered ES taskforce to maintain order. Eclair and Lumiere are two low-ranking ES members who carry out missions for GOTT. However, as they begin to see more and more of the galaxy, they soon realize that what they know about GOTT, the Galactic Union, and even themselves might not be all there is to it …

To be honest, the tenth spot was a difficult one. I wanted to put Dragon Ball / Dragon Ball Z / Dragon Ball GT here because, while Kiddy Grade was filled with half-assed plotlines, at least it ended—in 24 episodes no less. Dragon Ball, on the other hand, has had over 500 episodes and a handful of crappy movies. In the end, Kiddy Grade makes it here because, let’s be honest, being able to power up to super-saiyan, fly, and fire energy balls is pretty damned cool. Compared to a show that mostly consisted of panty shots, anyway. So here’s to number ten.

9. Tsubasa Chronicle

© 2007 CLAMP,
Kodansha / NHK, NEP

Syaoran, a boy who wants to become an archeologist, and Sakura, a princess from the Clow Kingdom, are childhood friends with a close relationship. On a fateful night, Sakura lost all her memories as a result of a conspiracy to obtain her powers. In order to regain her memory, Syaoran seeks help from the witch, Yuuko. Yuuko tells Syaoran that he has to travel from one alternate reality to another to collect fragments of Sakura’s memory. However, even if Sakura regains her memory, she will have no recollection of Syaoran. Travelling together with them is Kurogane [ … ] and Fye [ … ]. With the help of a magical creature, Mokona, they set off on an exciting journey through time and space.

There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that this show would be in my top—or is it bottom?—ten. Some kid travels through alternate realities to find magical feathers, in order to put his humpty dumpty girlfriend back together. Magical feathers. Don’t let the “help of a magical creature” fool you; the show is certainly no better off with it.

8. Dragon Drive

Oozora Reiji isn’t a lazy boy, he’s just terribly unmotivated; all the clubs and activities he’s joined don’t interest him for long. That is, of course, until his best friend Yukino takes him to a underground arcade where an unbelievable virtual reality game is played—Dragon Drive—in which players fight each other with virtual dragons. Reiji ends up throwing all he’s got into training a dragon so rare that the Dragon Drive staff are baffled. But soon Reiji learns that Dragon Drive isn’t all it seems, and he might be the only one who can save an entire world from evil.

There’s not really much to say about this one. Underground arcade. Dragons. Isn’t all it seems. Wow. Just … wow.

7. Gungrave

Brandon Heat, a silent and passive man, is living a laid back life with his friends. He’s got his eyes on Maria, but her uncle forbids their relationship. After the brutal murder of his friends and Maria’s uncle, Brandon is on the run together with the only friend he has left; Harry McDowell. When he finds out custody over Maria has been taken by Millennion, the largest mafia syndicate in town, he and Harry decide to join the syndicate. He goes through many hardships after joining the syndicate but he is willing to risk everything as long as he can be close to Maria.

The backstory on this anime was actually quite extensive; indeed, more than half the series was dedicated to “the past.” But the animation was poor—very poor—making it all the more painful. Its upside was the gratuitous violence, enough to sate even the most hardened of angst-ridden teenagers.

6. Trinity Blood

© 2005 Trinity Blood Partners

The background is in the distant future after the destruction brought about by Armageddon. The war between the vampires and the humans continue to persist. In order to protect the humans from the vampires, Vatican has to rely on other allies to counter the situation. The protagonist, a priest called Peter Abel Nightroad, travels through the countries as a representative for the Vaticans. However, he is also part of “Ax”, a special operations group controlled by the Cardinal Catherina. His encounter with a young girl called Esther will determine the struggle and survival between the human race and the vampires.

There are vampires, then there are things that eat vampires, woah cool. Then there’s a cheap and nasty plot, poor character and story development, and average animation. Thanks for playing, you’ve earnt a respectable sixth place!

This concludes part one of the ten worst anime I have had the displeasure of watching. Stay tuned for more.

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